Cancerversaries.
Hearing the words "You have cancer" is such a multi-layered moment. Fear, confusion, anger, sadness are all valid feelings to have in that moment. And as you are Fighting Pretty through cancer, and you near your first Cancerversary, you may be at a loss when navigating how to commemorate it. We chatted with Miranda & Renee, two of our Brand Ambassadors, about this very subject, and they gave their insight.
What are your thoughts on commemorating Cancerversaries?
Miranda: "Many people feel differently about cancerversaries. Some see it as re-living one of the worst days of their life, but I see it reclaiming the pieces it’s tried to take from me. By celebrating, I am able to re-write the narrative each year. I always tell people that even if we attempt to forget, our bodies remember. Our bodies remember each surgery date, each diagnosis, each treatment, and that trauma gets stored deep inside. As someone who’s lived with this rare cancer for over a decade, I like to get ahead of that by doing it my way. When receiving a diagnosis, it feels like you are totally out of control, nothing makes sense, you can’t stop any of it. Deciding how you honour those days is an empowering way of taking your power back."
Describe your first Cancerversary, and what you did on that day
Renee: "I went to Santa Cruz with my mom and grandmother. They were there the day I was diagnosed. We cried a lot, but tried to laugh more. It was very special. I also bought myself a ring from Tiffany’s to symbolize my bone marrow transplant. And then I got a tattoo-which was completely against all Doctor recommendations. I got a lower back tattoo of a sun and a ankh-symbols of life and everlasting life."
What's your favorite way to commemorate your Cancerversary?
Miranda: "I don’t just honour my diagnosis date, I recognize ALL my dates of significance. My first ever ‘celebration’ was right after my first hospital admission, BEFORE my diagnosis. I didn’t know what a cancerversary was - let alone that I had cancer. I was 19 and had just suffered a heart attack and 2 strokes, and we had no idea why. When I was sent home, my best friend and I went to dairy queen and got a cake that said 'congratulations you didn’t die!'
I was re-admitted to the hospital quickly and diagnosed with a 1-in-a-million tumor. The irony of it all is that I did end up flatlining on the operating table for 3 minutes. When I woke up from that surgery, I embarrassingly told my then-boyfriend (now husband) that I loved him and to take me to Mexico. We ended up getting married and he did just that. Over the years we have gone back to Mexico a few times; it’s our way of commemorating that crazy time."
Do you involve your kiddo on your cancerversaries? If so, how?
Renee: "Yes!! She was too little to understand at first and just thought we were having another 'yes day'. But, as she’s grown to understand things more, I’ve began to explain. On my 10 year leukemia Cancerversary we took a family trip to celebrate and I wrote a book for my young nieces to share my story.
A year later, Ava was born and originally due on my bone marrow transplant Cancerversary. But, she arrived a few weeks earlier. If school schedules and weather permits, we head to the beaches. Usually we are lucky enough to see dolphins in Carmel which is extra special for me. September 2022, I celebrated my 20 year Leukemia Cancerversary. We went on shopping spree at Kendra Scott where we both got to customize our jewelry. I added pink opals to my earrings and necklace to represent my 4 years Thriving with breast cancer. Then I found a yellow opal sun ring which clearly represents my leukemia Cancerversary.
I’ve always wanted to go whale watching and during my leukemia treatments I was given beads of courage. Each bead symbolized something else I had endured or medical milestones in regards to my cancer treatment. Many different colors, even letters spelling my name and 1 dolphin bead. Along with all of our Kendra Scott jewelry, my daughter and I finally went whale watching and saw even more dolphins than ever before. Even the rare white dolphin."
What advice would you give someone who is approaching their first cancerversary?
Miranda: "I always say that pheo (cancer) can’t take away my fabulous. So, my advice would be to honour what that means to you. Know that uncomfortable feelings may pop up on this day, but it’s up to you how and when you recognize your day. How or IF you celebrate is up to you and how you feel in that moment.
If it feels heavy, do something to release that. Write yourself a letter, burn it in a fire. I released some anger by doing a ‘smash cake’- with a wooden mallet and a chocolate heart mould. Mine said 'F Cancer' in zebra print to recognize my rare cancer. I once bought my husband a helicopter ride for his birthday, but I was too sick and he opted not to go without me. It took 6 years to use that gift certificate, which made it that much sweeter. We rang an imaginary bell while drifting in the sky - our own way of commemorating the unbelievable news of me being stable. The beauty of that day is that it’s yours to do what you want with, just like every day of your life. You choose how you show up to it. I choose to keep Fighting Pretty, and not let anything take away who I am - FABULOUS."
Renee: "Recognize these days, these milestones. When you have cancer you are constantly living with fear. Until your Cancerversary, where you can take a moment to tell yourself, 'good job, you!'
At the time of my first cancer diagnosis, I was 18 years old and told I wouldn’t survive the week. And when I did survive that week, it gave me power. Since then, and even with a second cancer, I’ve survived another 1,078 weeks and still counting! When you are forced to take life one day at a time- and when those days add up to a year- it has to be recognized; for your own personal strength. Cancer taught me to live with intention. That life is like the ocean; it comes in waves, so don’t turn your back on it. Enjoy the beauty, relax in the calm, ride the waves if you can, or jump over the small ones. But, always keep swimming and enjoy living always."
Xoxo,
Miranda & Renee
Follow along with Miranda & Renee on Instagram as they share their cancer journeys online: