With all of the commotion in the news, on social media and throughout society right now, I was asked by one of our employees what Fighting Pretty's response was on the Roe vs. Wade current issue.
At first, I responded stating I didn't want to put Fighting Pretty out there as an organization that had a stance on the issue. I wanted to be extremely sensitive to people who see both sides, and be careful not to offend. Typically, we try to stay out of political conversations and use our platforms to empower women, lift up the spirits of our community and provide resources.
Just a week or so ago, I engaged my talented friend to help us think through our brand identity for a potential redesign for Fighting Pretty. He dove into what we have been putting out in to the world and what he thought we were trying to convey, and shared these three words: BOLD | UNAPOLOGETIC | INSPIRING. He was right.
Last night, I couldn't stop thinking about the question my colleague asked. I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that Fighting Pretty is bold. Fighting Pretty is inspiring. Fighting Pretty is unapologetic. We support women choosing to get surgeries, to get reconstruction, to go flat, to not have babies, to have babies, to care for their bodies at all costs. We focus on all the decisions we make for our bodies surrounding cancer due to our mission. But our mission is to empower women. We constantly remind our community we are women - not cancer patients; we are strong, we are beautiful and we need to decide what is best for us. Our position is never meant to offend anyone, so if you keep reading, please know this: there may be words that are triggering, and this may be hard to read. But we are bold, unapologetic and inspiring and we support women making their own choices for their own bodies.
As women, we inherently make decisions about our bodies every day. We track our cycles, our weight gain, our weight loss. We look at our thinning or greying hair, our skin changes, our carb intake, our consumption of caffeine, alcohol and pollution. If we get pregnant, we think about milk, our breasts, our ovaries, what happened to our vagina, our figures, our emotions. If we don't get pregnant, we think about why and what's wrong with our bodies, our ovaries, our cells, hormones, and our uterine linings. If we don't want to get pregnant, we are judged, pressured and seen as wrong, selfish or cold.
It is our bodies who take the true ownership of carrying and nurturing a fetus, a baby, a cell, a partial baby, a particle of a cell, a follicle, a hormone, and getting injected with a shot from IUI or IVF procedure. It is our bodies that get bloated or poked with tools and hurt from the inside from ultrasounds. It is our bodies that get IUD that bock our uterus to ensure we don't get pregnant because our partners feel condoms "just don't feel good," and it is us who have to take little pills every day full of unnatural hormones that could be the reason for us getting estrogen-positive breast cancer at 26.
It is our bodies that endure the physicality of production whether it was planned or not, or whether the cells grow to become an actual baby, or not.
We endure the emotional side effects that go along with with all of that: the act of intercourse, the after effects of rape, the decision paralysis and fear of abortion, the uncertainty of "am I doing the right thing?" The horror of having something removed from inside of us that we hoped would be part of our family, but wasn't developing. The trauma of removing something growing that was created through a violent act, not love. The one mistake we made that we now have to live with for the rest of our lives whether the other person involved cares, supports or wants nothing to do with it, or the shameful responses we receive as a single mom when people ask, "where's your husband?"
Once we are diagnosed with cancer, the trauma on our minds and emotions goes into overdrive. We have poison pumped into our veins, we struggle with losing parts of our bodies, gaining scars, gaining unforeseen weight from medication, and working hard to understand what even is healthy for us anymore. Are our secret hormones triggers? Is it our cells doing backflips through cancer tunnels? Is sugar the killer? Is it wine? Is it the air? Can I even have a baby? Is it safe? What will happen to my hormones? Will it come back?
As an organization that works to empower all women to help them feel strong and beautiful, Fighting Pretty supports the position to own your beautiful body. Our bodies are all we truly have. And we should be able to choose what we do with it.
Sending love and strength to you all.
With love,
Kara Frazier, Founder of Fighting Pretty
